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Exhaustion.
Fatigue.
Overwhelm.

These words probably bring weight to your body and images to your mind of a time, perhaps presently, when you have been overloaded with what's happening around you. 

Recently I have felt these things and my body decided to tell me to take a break the only way it knew how, by giving me a cold. 

I believe that when you are overwhelmed and frustrated with the events, people or things around you, you have a new opportunity. An moment in time when you can choose something different than trudging along your current path. 

Whether it's a new point of view, a new feeling you allow, a new direction you take with your heart or your car, or whatever... there is a opportunity to choose something different.

How do you get to the point of seeing your options? 
Well, you practice.

It takes time and some effort in order to get into the habit of seeing all of the options in front of you when you're exhausted and just done. It is never impossible, it's...

When too many things keep coming at you, what do you do? How do you cope? Where do you turn?

All too often as a parent in the NICU, there is a ton of stuff coming at you. Information from and about:

Nurses
Surgeons
Neonatologists
Blood needs to be taken
Vitals are needed constantly
Diapering with cords
Holding in and out of the incubator
Pumping
Feedings
Breathing
... and the list continues, but this isn't including the things that you as the parent needs!

You will deal with these things slightly differently than I did and the next parent over will deal with them in their own way too. The concern comes up when you get overloaded and can't see or hear straight anymore.

It's become too much.

When information, issues, unexpected turns, and your own health issues come at you all at once, what are you supposed to do?

Story: (may be triggering)
When Skye's brain surgery was a few days away I started getting really sick. I couldn't eat and was pumping and depleting myself every day. This turned bad...

Oh great... I"m stuck again. 

Memories flooding back. Emotions on the rise. Tears often enough that it's unsettling.

Triggers can create this sense of being stuck from an old event or old emotions. It's not a bad thing, it's just something that needs your attention and until those feelings or memories get the attention they need, the stuckness won't go away.

This happened to me this past week. It was my Skye's 8th birthday! :D Yay Skye!! Such an incredible feeling that my little angel has grown and become such an amazing person... and is freaking 8 years old!

(Okay, I'll stop with all of the exclamation points.) ;)

As much as Skye's birthday has the focus of him having fun, enjoying the people he holds dear and opening some presents while eating cake, it's a major trigger for me.

I have worked really hard to release the anger, resentment, guilt and loss that was wrapped around the birth of my baby. It has taken a lot to not let all of the stuff that happened for us come flooding...

‘Try and try again’ it’s said.

‘Keep going until it feels right’ they say.

I didn’t really connect with these concepts until I had Skye.  Why should any of us go along with decisions that we don’t feel good about? The situation might not be as you had envisioned in the beginning, but the outcome might actually fit your life better than you expected.

Giving yourself the options to keep trying for something that you know deep down means a lot to you and your future, or your child's future, is never a waste of time.

When you try to do something that you think is good for you and all you get is pushback, resistance, or frustrations, you might just want to give up right then and there. Throw your hands up, your head goes back and you make some sort of comment that tells the energies around you that you’re just done!

Let me ask you, if your neonatologist or nurse did that whenever a block came up in the NICU, would that be okay?

...

Crashing into an unexpected life event when you least expect it doesn’t feel very good. It might have come out of nowhere or if there was some preparation you didn’t know all that was going to occur. You can feel alone, unsure and uncertain as to where you’re supposed to go or what you’re supposed to do.

That feeling can get even deeper and there begins to be a sense of a loss of control. You feel like every morning or every day is a new adventure in s*#t and you can not see your way out any time soon. What would it be like to let yourself sit in the feeling? This is not a place where many of us feel comfortable, especially if you’ve had a history of depression or anxiety. It can be a scary place to venture and bring you more worries than you had before because phrases like “I’m supposed to be okay by now.” “Why am I still feeling like this?” are going through your mind.

When so much has happened to you and you really...

 Unexpected things happen all the time in life and often we're good to manage them. Other times, these events occur and sweep us away with the unknowns and uncertainties that our brains will produce. The emotions become big and often and it's sometimes difficult to manage where we're at, let alone support other people through what's going on.

My Vlog today is about this. 
I talk about the first steps that can be taken to figure yourself out as you try to manage a difficult situation AND have to parent at the same time.

Skye is a great mirror for me and the first time I realized he was expressing how I was feeling was a huge shift for all of us! It's a tough job, not for the faint of heart to be a parent, and with unexpected events it can become even more overwhelming.

Listen in, tell me what you think and remember, we're here for each other!
Love Leanne Rose 

Connection is paramount.

In any culture around our beautiful world, the sense of connection and being understood creates a powerful sense of self. When we don't feel supported we feel as though weights are pressing down on our shoulders and that feeling can make it hard to function on a daily basis.

Talking about something that has happened to you that is weighing on your mind can be an integral way to process the emotional heaviness you're carrying around. By debriefing with someone you trust it gives space for healing and understanding.

Connection and sharing are essential parts of how we thrive.

No one can do everything all by themselves. In the Western world we've forgotten about the village mentality. Sharing is Love. And Love is the bottom line in how we feel connected. Love just has to be.

Who do you have in your life that you can talk to or ask a favour of? What are you willing to ask of them? Can you get out of your own way to receive the support?

Allow the compassion...

Feb 14, 2022

Love is a trauma-informed action.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and whether or not you ‘celebrate’ it or see it as just another day, your thoughts were probably around the subject of Love. I personally don’t put too much effort into it even though this year Skye has wanted to decorate and amp it up because he’s now in school and they focus on these things as tools for keeping the kids’ attention. I tend to want the attention to be spread out throughout the year so that I know I’m Loved, always. Selfish or just a different perspective?

Regardless of how tough these last few years have been for you knowing that you are Loved is a powerful feeling. Having someone in your life that you trust, that you confide in, that you can truly be yourself with is a form of knowing you are Loved. It’s also lovely to hear the words, “You are Loved.” Or “I Love you.”

Words hold energy and we can’t always...