Try and try again they say...

‘Try and try again’ it’s said.

‘Keep going until it feels right’ they say.

I didn’t really connect with these concepts until I had Skye.  Why should any of us go along with decisions that we don’t feel good about? The situation might not be as you had envisioned in the beginning, but the outcome might actually fit your life better than you expected.

Giving yourself the options to keep trying for something that you know deep down means a lot to you and your future, or your child's future, is never a waste of time.

When you try to do something that you think is good for you and all you get is pushback, resistance, or frustrations, you might just want to give up right then and there. Throw your hands up, your head goes back and you make some sort of comment that tells the energies around you that you’re just done!

Let me ask you, if your neonatologist or nurse did that whenever a block came up in the NICU, would that be okay?

I’m guessing you’re saying ‘Heck no!’ in your mind right now. “Of course not Leanne, don’t be ridiculous.” So why do we allow it for ourselves?

Following that, you might say something to me like, “Well, giving up in the NICU isn’t an option, but when it comes to stuff I’m doing for myself, like trying to get some time to relax or have a moment of work, that’s different. It’s not life or death.” 

I would say back to you, “You’re right. Taking some personal rejuvenation time isn’t life or death in the moment, and it’s certainly not as important as the care given in hospitals and NICUs. AND if you stop trying to care for yourself you might forget how to do or lose yourself so much that it’s a big adventure to get it back.”

One of my biggest lessons from being in the NICU with Skye was that I have to remember to also take care of me. Trying to live alongside a part of my soul that’s struggling in an incubator, is not a job for the meek. The strength that comes from you and your baby during those times is a power that you can carry with you forevermore.

Now that Skye is seven years old and I have done loads of different types of journeying and personal development work, when resistance comes a-callin’ I let myself have those moments of emotion, and then wait for the tipping point. I have this point where the initial shock or sadness quiets down and I remember how much I’ve already come through to be at this point in my life. I connect with who I am and build on the insightful thoughts that are coming through. Quite often the first idea to help me heal or grow is not the one that I will continue with. New ones are always welcome and that’s where the real healing can be felt.  

Thinking about this try-and-try-again concept got me noticing today’s events. Today is Canada Day for my country and I’m deeply aware of all that has happened within and to my country over the last year or two. We have discovered a lot about ourselves, our communities, our neighbours and about our past. Much of it is hard to handle and yet needed to be heard and known for growth as a nation to occur.  

One such occurrence is the dear indigenous children whose graves were found on the properties of the residential schools. Heavy hearts and lots of sadness swept across so many of us and to try and ‘celebrate’ this day as a national holiday seems fake and not fair.

Canada is not free from making bad decisions and I’m grateful to say this country has been really trying again and again to reconcile those wrongs.

As I was looking for some light on this subject for myself and how to guide Skye through another Canadian holiday, I found a magical article about indigenous leaders from our Coastal bands coming together with the city of Vancouver to rework how to look at this day! Here’s the article if you’d like to take a look: https://www.vancouverisawesome.com/local-news/vancouver-canada-day-event-celebrates-local-first-nations-in-spirit-of-reconciliation-5516803 

It reminds me of how we have a choice with anything that we’re faced with. There’s the choice of getting stuck in the mud of the hurt, pain and frustrations of what hasn’t worked in life or a current situation. OR You can tend to your heart, feel the feels and know that being frustrated and hurt is okay.

This latter option leads you to know yourself and how you react. It leads to understanding what you need in future situations and gives you guidance so you can guide others. It can also connect you with what you want to change within yourself and the world. Very empowering parts of you come through when the tough emotions and situations are given some time and space to have the attention they need.

Reworking how you see a frustration could mean the difference between annoyance and acknowledgement. We rarely get things right the first time, and that’s okay. It’s about how we keep going to the goal we set out to achieve that matters. Were decisions made with Love? Compassion? Was as much knowledge as you could have in the moment present?

Keepin’ on going and looking for the results you know are there is the power of the journey. So the next time you find yourself annoyed with what’s happening or frustrated that things aren’t working out, take a breath when you remember to and take a metaphorical, or physical, step back. Look at the situation with new eyes as ask yourself what am I looking for here? Who else can I talk to and how can I keep trying to find my results?

It takes courage.
It takes work.
It’s not easy.
And yes, you can do it!

Sending you loads of Love and hugs!
Leanne Rose