When too many things keep coming at you.

When too many things keep coming at you, what do you do? How do you cope? Where do you turn?

All too often as a parent in the NICU, there is a ton of stuff coming at you. Information from and about:

Nurses
Surgeons
Neonatologists
Blood needs to be taken
Vitals are needed constantly
Diapering with cords
Holding in and out of the incubator
Pumping
Feedings
Breathing
... and the list continues, but this isn't including the things that you as the parent needs!

You will deal with these things slightly differently than I did and the next parent over will deal with them in their own way too. The concern comes up when you get overloaded and can't see or hear straight anymore.

It's become too much.

When information, issues, unexpected turns, and your own health issues come at you all at once, what are you supposed to do?

Story: (may be triggering)
When Skye's brain surgery was a few days away I started getting really sick. I couldn't eat and was pumping and depleting myself every day. This turned bad to worse when, the day before Skye's scheduled surgery, the NICU called and said he wasn't doing well. It was early in the morning so we rushed down to be told he'd had a reaction to something as though he had a major infection, but they couldn't figure it out.

We held him and were close. We were beside ourselves and unsure what was happening or going to happen. Then I got really sick. I went downhill fast and our primary nurse told my mom to take me to a full-adult care hospital. 

We drove for a half an hour, I was admitted into emerg and was there most of the night. 

My husband was with Skye at the NICU. I know now that he was frozen with fear for both of us.

After Skye and I both were blessed with more predictable health again we came back together at the NICU. They told us they'd hold off surgery until he was more stable. (He never did have that surgery btw.)

I look back now and wonder how on earth I could have asked for help. I couldn't barely understand what was going on, let alone voice what I needed. What I needed in that moment was for my baby to be better!

Have you experienced something similar? Maybe it happened outside of the NICU.
Either way, when we get bombarded with so many things at once here is my advice:

- be good to yourself, have patience and be in the moment
- have someone around you that can keep a clear head and comprehend more of what's going on (primary nurse, your parent, friend, etc)
- try to connect yourself to the Now (I know this isn't easy so do your best)
- look for the joy - you may not feel it right away, but this activity leads you into a different frame of mind, if only for a few moments which in turn can give your body a break from the worry
- cry, be angry, ask questions - whatever you do let your emotions out in a way that doesn't do harm to others around you. Keeping in the emotion is a good way to be traumatized.

Build on what you already have as a guiding light. You are the true hero in your baby's life and they need you more than anything or anyone else.

I am sending Love & Light to you always!
Leanne Rose