Love as a Trauma-Informed Act.

Feb 14, 2022

Love is a trauma-informed action.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and whether or not you ‘celebrate’ it or see it as just another day, your thoughts were probably around the subject of Love. I personally don’t put too much effort into it even though this year Skye has wanted to decorate and amp it up because he’s now in school and they focus on these things as tools for keeping the kids’ attention. I tend to want the attention to be spread out throughout the year so that I know I’m Loved, always. Selfish or just a different perspective?

Regardless of how tough these last few years have been for you knowing that you are Loved is a powerful feeling. Having someone in your life that you trust, that you confide in, that you can truly be yourself with is a form of knowing you are Loved. It’s also lovely to hear the words, “You are Loved.” Or “I Love you.”

Words hold energy and we can’t always control the energy that gets inside. There are amazing studies out there about how words and their vibrations influence and effect plants and water. Google it, you’ll be fascinated! 

Anyways, this is why Skye, Scott and I practice saying these Loving phrases to ourselves in a mirror:

I Am Loved.
I Am Loveable.
I Am Loving.
I Am Love.

Each of these separate statements has a different form of Love that’s involved when we see Love through the lens of the English language. The first comes from someone else caring for you. The second comes from knowing you have the capacity to be Loved by someone (even yourself). The third is about how you express care to those around you at any given moment. And the fourth is pure Higher Power energy - God’s white light, Buddha’s heart, the Creator’s embrace or the Universe’s power. However it is you connect with Love it is all around and in and through you. Love is Love.  

Don’t just use these on Valentine’s Day for yourself or your Loved ones. Use them all the time, as often as you’d like or when you really need them. It changes your soul, how you carry yourself and gives you more confidence and self-awareness. Looking at yourself in a mirror and saying affirming phrases is also part of the work that Louise Hay has done and she wrote a book about it called, “Mirror Work.” Looking into your own eyes and stating powerful, Loving energy statements brings forward a whole world that you may not have known possible.

So, making these statements and hearing them from others around you can feel a bit odd at first, which is why you have to stick with it. Each time you do it will become less weird and more comforting. After a while you’ll be smiling at yourself and really believing it, if you don’t already. Once this is settled into your own body then you can see how it comes through when you are with others. And this is where the trauma-informed piece comes in.

Even if you haven’t heard about the science and biology pieces around trauma, you haven’t done a neurobiology webinar or you’re not even sure what trauma really is, having Love for yourself builds Love for others. You can meet them where they’re at instead of trying to fix all their problems for them when they talk to you. You will understand more of where people are coming from when they’re angry or upset, or at least be more of a detective when strong emotions come up because you’re secure in knowing yourself better.

Being trauma-informed is not just about being scientifically educated, it’s about being person-educated.

Society right now is full of triggers. We are living in extremely uncertain times and the questioning festers and can cause trauma-like symptoms and reactions. That’s probably why someone you have known for a long time might need a bit more space right now, or have had a bigger reaction than you expected recently. Trauma has many ways of presenting itself, just as we are all individuals with many experiences, our reactions also have layers.

Pretty deep huh?

Being trauma-informed means that you lead with Love. We can’t possibly know what everyone around us is going through, even if they seemingly tell us all of their woes on a regular basis, the layers they aren’t showing us are still there. Now, it’s not our responsibility to know how to help them, but it is our responsibility to remember and recognize when someone is possibly hurting. You have control of yourself and no one else, and if we continually keep responding to each other with victim mentality or an I’m-too-busy-for-this attitude then our connections will be broken and we will feel even more alone than ever. I don’t want that for any of us. 

You are Loved.
You are Loveable.
You are Loving.
You are Love.

That is your birthright. Love.

Write it. Say it. Hear it. Repeat it. Get your kids to say it with you and to you. Write it on a note for yourself or record your own voice saying it and play it for yourself. Look at yourself in a mirror, deep into your eyes. I Am Loved.

Happy Day to you, always and forever.
Love Leanne Rose

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Leanne Rose Dorish, MA
Registered Clinical Counsellor
Author, Blogger, Presenter, and Lover.