Now can I show my frustration?

How many times have you decided not to show a negative emotion?

Was it with family? friends? a doctor or surgeon? Maybe it was with a new specialist you finally got into for your little one.

Wherever it was, for some reason you chose not to express what you were truly feeling in the moment and now you think about it more and wonder if you should have said something.

For me, this happened a lot when Skye was in the NICU and really little. I just wanted the best for him and sometimes what was being said or offered didn't make me feel good. 

Don't get me wrong. I would never allow anything to take place that my husband and I didn't agree upon, but the emotions underneath the decisions sometimes were screaming in my heart and head and I didn't know where to release them.

With all of the care and attention on self-care out there now, there are many avenues to releasing emotions and lots of education about holding things in turning into, or manifesting into something like a physical ailment.

The thing that I'm noticing still though, is that most of our society doesn't know how to handle negative emotions in regular daily life. So if I were to be crying in a grocery store, many people would perhaps pass me by thinking it's none of their business or they don't want to get involved. 

Frustration comes in many forms - tears, anger, depression, exhaustion - and often as NICU parents we don't get the opportunity to give space to these forms of frustration because we have to be on the ball and attentive. 

So... here's the ultimate question: Where can we express these frustrations?

First, I'd like you to think about a place or a person that you feel safe with. It could be the shower, it could be a parent of yours, it could be in the forest. Wherever that safe place is, go there or be with that person or if you have to, just image being there with the trees.

Second, if you're with a person, warn them what you need. "I really need to vent to you right now and I don't need a solution. I just need you to hold space."

Third, start to express what's going on. You might start with describing the person or situation that ticked you off. You could just scream into a pillow. Maybe you want to jump up and down like a little kid and stomp your feet!? Whatever you and your body needs to do, let it out in this safe place.

Now, after the initial release, connect inward and figure out where you might be feeling tension or tingling in your body. Sometimes my hands are vibrating in a way that makes me want to shake them. This is your body trying to release the excess energies that have been stored up within you. So shake, or get a hug or sigh a great big sigh to let more out.

If your safe person wants to talk more about it and that's good with you, then go ahead with that. If you want to journal or make a little fairy house near a tree, do it. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else or hurt you further.

I will often include Skye in my emotional releases to teach him that it's okay to have these big emotions and how to manage them. 

I figure, if he's not seeing me handle my s*&t then how will he know how to handle his when he's older!? 

Thanks for reading. And thank you for being good to yourself.

Big emotions are there for a reason and we are all allowed to have them.

I Love you and if you ever need Love, ideas or support, I'm just an email away.
Love, Leanne Rose