Let Yourself Be Supported

Too often we try to do everything on our own and then we get overwhelmed, cranky, snippy and not the person we want to be.

This is so common, not just with us NICU parents, but with everyone! 

For some reason, our society has forgotten about the village mentality. We have allowed ourselves to try to do everything on our own and, for goodness sake, we even make our newborn babies become instantly independent by having them sleep in a crib or bassinet right out of the womb!! What is that all about?

This fierce independence needs to be redesigned. It is somewhat of a downfall for everyone because we honestly are not getting the support and love that we rightfully deserve and can thrive with. Most of us decline help at moments when we really do actually need that help.

This stops here!

Let's rework support for ourselves right now and learn how to accept that village back into our lives so we can settle in to more of who we are inside our souls and in turn who we need to be for our world.

What's one thing that you can think of that you need help with?
Just off the top of your head. What is that first thing that pops into your mind?

Okay, mine was organizing Christmas gifts.

The second thing to think of is, who could help with this task or situation?
A friend? Kiddo? Partner or parent?
Who is already in your wheelhouse that would accept a supportive role for you?

My answer is my husband. 
I often try to figure everything out myself, even for his family, and he's actually more of an expert on their likes and needs than I am. So I'm going to recruit him.

The next potential step is to ask. Ask that helper to be your elf! 
With kindness and in a calm moment, ask them if they'd be willing to help.

They may say no, and yet be open to discussion. Do your best not to get offended and know they may change their mind. But if the person is right for the job, they will have no problem helping you out with a smile. :)

When I had just gotten home from the NICU, I had this crazy idea that I wanted my closest friends and family over for Christmas... Let's just say it didn't turn out very well. 

The lasagna was still frozen when it was supposed to be coming out of the oven. I was exhausted and couldn't think straight and had no capacity to be with people. Bad choice, but as the night went on I felt so supported and loved by those with me. They helped with dinner, set the table, settled me in a rocking chair cuddled with Skye. It turned out magically, all because I gave in to myself and asked for help.

How can you make a difference for yourself right now?

If you need to think things over out loud, email me back. I'm happy to help!

Love and hugs always,
Leanne Rose