Answering the Question "How are you?"

How are you doing?

Do you believe that I really and truly want to know? I do want to know, yet others use it as a simple greeting.

When I hear that question being asked, or have it asked of me, I sometimes ponder if it's a genuine wonderment from the person asking. 

I'm sure it could be, but sometimes the person who asked it doesn't actually want to know the real answer. The answer could have elements in it that the receiver might not know how to handle, not want to hear or be too rushed to spend the proper time on with you. (This happened often when we were in the NICU with Skye. Too tough for some people to fathom - heartfelt, but uncomfortable.)

And then there are those dangerous answers too like: "Fine." "Alright." "Okay." If someone answers with these I often offer a space to say more because the one word answers can contain a lot behind them.

Those answers roll off the tongue and don't seem to have any substance, but you and I both know we have a ton of substance because there's a lot going on under the surface!

Often at this time of year with holidays approaching and the end of the year, change in season and gatherings galore, we find ourselves on autopilot. Or if you're in the NICU or hospital with your wee one, routine holds a new definition.

Overwhelm, stress, anxiety, pressure are some of the other "fun"-not-so-fun things that come along with the hopes, dreams, and joys. 

How can you take just enough time to wonder to yourself, "how am I doing" "what might I need right now"?

It might sound self-absorbed (it's not!), and at the same time, very much needed (most definitely)! 

As you're reading this something is already coming to your mind that you'd like to do for yourself. What is it? How could you do it, or a portion of it? When could you fit it into your schedule?

And considering what you will say when the next person asks, "Hey, how are you?" Will you be slightly more honest and open and say "busy, but hanging in" or "it's been tough and I'm glad we have my Mom around." 

Be kind to yourself. Use compassion with the ways you communicate with others and with yourself. We are often our own worst critics and the negative self-talk serves no purpose.

You are worth every kind thought, every gentle self-assessment and each opportunity to welcome what you need.

I'm sending you so much Love!